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What if I am being pressured to have sex?
Published: June 18, 2013
You may at some point deal with pressure to have sex, and this could come from a boyfriend/girlfriend, friends or just someone who you may be spending time with. There are a few things to remember if you’re facing this kind of pressure.
Not everyone is doing it. Did you know that only half of teens have had sex by the time they leave high school? That leaves 50% on the other side who have made the decision to wait. So if someone makes you feel like everyone else is having sex, and that you need to have sex in order to fit in, remember that not everyone’s doing it. The numbers don’t lie.
You are not your past. Just because you had sex before doesn’t mean that you have to continue having sex now and in the future. And just because you had sex with a current partner doesn’t mean you have to continue to do so. If you realize that sex isn’t for you, it’s completely fine for you to not do it again.
Take a step back. In the middle of feeling pressure, sometimes it can help to take a step back and ask yourself what YOU would do if that pressure wasn’t there.
If you can, distance yourself from the source of the pressure. This might mean spending more time with friends who also think it’s okay not to have sex or hanging out more in groups of friends instead of one particular person who may be pressuring you.
Communicate clearly. If you don’t want to have sex, say so! Speak firmly and clearly. Match your body language to your words. Say "no," and repeat the "no" if necessary. Be aware that putting yourself in situations where you are not in control, such as being under the influence of drugs or alcohol or even being alone with someone and not having your own transportation, can make it more difficult to communicate and/or remove yourself from a situation you’re not comfortable with.
Remember, a relationship should be built on qualities like respect, trust, honesty, understanding and open communication. Someone who really cares about you should respect your boundaries and understand if you say you’re not ready.